Doing Jokes. Best Joke Wins 5 keys.

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Sightpro1

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Jun 20, 2019
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I'm doing this because I love the community and the reputation it gave me. This server really helped my in hard times. All the laughs and tears of joy brought from this community is amazing. Thank you all, and good luck with the jokes. The giveaway deadline is 8/8/2019 Around 1:00 PST Time. Again thank you all. Expect a friend request for the trade.
 

Hypernova

the one with many names
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Jun 25, 2019
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jokes huh? heres a joke, me

heres a joke i stole from the internet (cause im to lazy to think of one, im sorry)

what did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey

(you'll get it if you don't get it soon)
 
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Floot

Newbie
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Dec 9, 2017
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under a rock, on a tropical island
Here's an old joke translated from my language of origin, that was posted in a similar giveaway. Names have been changed and parts modified:

So the story: One day 2 guys named Olie and Pokey were lost in a desert after their jeep broke down. So each one took 1 part of the car. Olie takes a tire (Or tyre) and Pokey takes the jeep's door.
Pokey: Why did you take the tyre?
Olie: If I get tired, I'll sit on it! Well, Why did you take the jeep's door tho?
Pokey: You are a real fool, aren't you?...
Olie: Why?
Pokey: Well, if I feel hot, I will lower down the window to get fresh air!
Olie: *Facepalm.

They both continue to walk when suddenly Olie started to get thirsty and Pokey, hungry. They found a nomad camp and free food. Olie didn't eat that muck and Pokey ate a lot. At the time the nomads were leaving, they exchanged the car parts for a Sacred water-bottle, with a beautiful wooden bottle cork. Olie opened the bottle and gulped on the water, and gave an empty bottle to Pokey who was angry for not getting a single drop of it.
Time passes, and the both wanted to go for a dump (If you know what I mean...) Olie pisses behind a tree in the oasis and Ricky, had do use the cork... Well, you know where (Oh damn, that hurts) as he could not make the oasis filthy and had to wait till he reached to civilization.

Then APPEARED Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves Gay f**kers. The 40 men were very happy to find 2 beautiful young men in the desert. They grabbed and tied both boys and removed their clothes. Half of them would take one boy and the other half, the other one. Upon undressing both, they saw the cork in Pokey's anus and apologetically said. "WE NO TOUCH CURSED PINE CORK, WE ARE "RELIGIOUS PEOPLE" said the Gay fu**kers and let Pokey go. It seemed that the carvings on the top side of the cork had a superstitious belief of getting a cursed fate if someone tried to remove it from where it was. They looked at Olie and said: "40 on one? (° ͜ʖ °)

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH"

Looks like the superstitious belief really did something here.
Poor Olie, we are in 2019, and still complains his ass hurting a lot...
 

Eight

Incognito
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Jul 15, 2017
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Alright I'm not sure if this will count but I feel this is the best time for me to dump some quotes I have saved of my time playing TF2.

*DEAD* SpyCrab : admin never freeze again or i will spot your house and stab you until you death

The entire country of Britain has found: The Scottish Resistance

OutCast: GIVE ME THING COOL PLZ OR I FUCK IT THE STRANGE WARRIO OUT 1:36:20 PM

12:37 AM - *happy squeal*: ok
12:37 AM - *happy squeal*: how about this
12:37 AM - *happy squeal*: mge for unban
12:37 AM - =WL= Eight: not unbanning
12:37 AM - =WL= Eight: at all
12:38 AM - *happy squeal*: if i lose
12:38 AM - *happy squeal*: u add 30 minutes
12:38 AM - *happy squeal*: if i win
12:38 AM - *happy squeal*: u take away ban
12:38 AM - *happy squeal*: ahahahaha

BANNED That : where u live im gonna murder u

BANNED That : tell me where u live

Mister <>DₑfₒᵢₗDₑbᵢₛ<> : PLS
Mister <>DₑfₒᵢₗDₑbᵢₛ<> : BE MY TEAM ADMIN
Mister <>DₑfₒᵢₗDₑbᵢₛ<> : :(

5 minutes ago - [FF]CT:
Im not even on the internet
 
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Sightpro1

Well-Known Member
Jun 20, 2019
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After looking through all the jokes I have decided a winner. Scorch. I picked Scorch because everytime he goes wardan, half the server is calling him a bad wardan, and it made me laugh pretty good. Congrats to Scorch. Expect a friend request for the trade. And thank you to everyone else to joined this little giveaway :D
 
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Hypernova

the one with many names
★ Donor ★
Jun 25, 2019
1,799
695
258
???
After looking through all the jokes I have decided a winner. Scorch. I picked Scorch because everytime he goes wardan, half the server is calling him a bad wardan, and it made me laugh pretty good. Congrats to Scorch. Expect a friend request for the trade. And thank you to everyone else to joined this little giveaway :D
who was close? (2nd i mean)
 
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