Now don't get me wrong, Patrick Bateman from American Psycho seems like the most straight, hot man ever right? He goes out with several women, does the deed, and goes back to his boring desk job at the firm. But there's something wrong with Bateman, he has a strange obsession with Jared Leto's Paul Allen. Paul Allen is a hunk of a man, but not so much so I would be afraid of him. Here's a copy pasta that accurately describes Paul Allen, "tbh i'd pick you up, hug you while rubbing you against my huge sweaty moobs then kiss your cheeks telling you how much i loved you and then kiss you on the lips and let out a hard long belch into your mouth." Paul Allen is a tiny beta male little shit who thinks he can get reservations to Dorsia but our hot hunk Patrick Bateman can't seem to catch a break, so he had to kill him! Just the thought of Christian Bale and Jared Leto entangled in a death-dance will a raincoat, a silver axe, and Huey Lewis and the News can get a man so hot.