Here's some:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
"cause you didn't f**king cook it" - Gordon Ramsay
Another joke I know by heart (I already posted it here before)
From:
https://wonderland.tf/threads/doing-jokes-best-joke-wins-5-keys.7684/#post-39320 Joke
One day 2 guys named
Olie and
Pokey (The names I remember were Jean and Jack or people would just put their friends' name for humor) were lost in a desert after their jeep broke down. So each one took 1 part of the car. Olie took a tire (Or tyre) and Pokey, the jeep's door.
Pokey: Why did you take the tyre?
Olie: If I get tired, I'll sit on it! Well, Why did you take the jeep's door tho?
Pokey: You are a real fool, aren't you?...
Olie: Why?
Pokey: Well, if I feel hot, I will lower down the window to get fresh air!
Olie: *Facepalm.
They both continue to walk when suddenly Olie started to get extremely thirsty and Pokey, extremely hungry. They found a nomad camp and
free food. Olie didn't eat that much and Pokey ate a
lot. At the time the nomads were leaving, they exchanged the car parts for a Sacred water-bottle, with a beautiful wooden wooden cork. Olie
opened the bottle and gulped on the water, and gave an empty bottle to Pokey who was angry for not getting a single drop of it.
Time passes, and the both wanted to go for a dump (If you know what I mean...) Olie pisses behind a tree in the oasis and Ricky, had do use the cork... well, you know where (Oh damn, that hurts) as he could not make the oasis filthy and had to wait till he reached to civilization.
Then APPEARED Ali Baba and the 40
Thieves Gay f**kers. The 40 men were very happy to find 2 beautiful young men in the desert. They grabbed and tied both boys and removed their clothes. Half of them would take one boy and the other half, the other one. Upon undressing both, they saw the cork in Pokey's anus and apologetically said. "WE NO TOUCH CURSED PINE CORK, WE ARE "RELIGIOUS PEOPLE" said the Gay fu**kers and let Pokey go. It seemed that the carvings on the top side of the cork had a superstitious belief of getting a cursed fate if someone tried to remove it from where it was. They looked at Olie and said: "40 on one? (° ͜ʖ °)
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
Looks like the superstitious belief really did something here.
Poor Olie, we are in 2019, and still complains his ass hurting a lot...
When the joke is orally cracked, it sounds funnier. I also didn't know how to translate some parts of it.